12 Things I Learned From My First 12 Podcast Episodes
Last October, I had a mental breakdown, quit my job, and started a podcast about vocation, mental health, and finding joy in your life, called “What Am I Doing With My Life?” The first episode debuted on November 17, and we’re still going strong over three months later. So far, all my episode guests have been close friends whose career journeys I’ve found fascinating. I’m grateful to have this podcast as an excuse to have deep conversations with my friends and ask them questions about their jobs I never get the chance to ask them in everyday conversations. I’ve been asked a few times now about what I’ve learned so far, so here I am, to summarize the first 12 episodes of a podcast I dreamt about making for years.
Get comfortable with being uncomfortable
Entering into the working world is all about getting comfortable with being uncomfortable. That’s how Sara described what it was like when she first started working as a nurse.
“Being uncomfortable is just part of life,” Sara said, “You can avoid it if you want. But in the end, it’s going to come for you. So you might as well get used to that discomfort.”
Maggie also expressed this idea as she regaled me with her world travels and the variety of positions she has had all over the globe.
“If you want to live a life like I’ve lived, I think it’s just leaning into the discomfort and finding comfort in the uncomfortable and then trying to thrive in that,” Maggie said. “Really just going for opportunities and putting yourself out there and just knowing that it’ll be okay, whether you sink or swim. Because sometimes when you jump into a pool, you’re gonna go to the bottom, but then you’re going to float back up.”
2. Speak kindly to yourself
Positive self-talk and speaking kindly to yourself came up repeatedly throughout these first episodes. Both Hannah and Keighley expressed the same sentiment that often we speak very mean things to ourselves that we would never dream of saying to a friend, and we need to stop ourselves from doing that and instead treat ourselves like we would a friend.
“Ultimately, our relationship with ourselves is very important,” said Hannah, a social worker. “Because from that, that’s how we relate to other people, and who you’re going to have the rest of your life is yourself. So, if you don’t like yourself, it’s going to be a struggle.”
Robert, a mental health professional, learned how to speak kindly to himself after working at a harm reduction tent at music festivals and having to speak kindly to others who shared the same struggles as him.
“Because even after I stopped using hard drugs … society’s narrative is that you're a bad person,” said Robert. “And by going and telling other people who are using drugs, You're not a bad person for using drugs and you deserve to be cared for. Saying that to other people was almost like saying it to myself too and my own self-worth increased, like tenfold. And I recognized that there's nothing wrong with me for using drugs. I'm not a bad person because I'm doing this. I'm just a person who got into some poor circumstances, right?”
3. Practise gratitude for your current situation
Gratitude is another theme that came up in a lot of episodes. Vera, an unidentified flying object, pointed out, “Sometimes I feel we just don’t see [good] situations because we are so embedded in worries and thoughts of other things that are not relevant to us. You just can be happy about having a nice view and enjoying the fall colors, and having a good meal and just kind of little things, but then you also have to be happy and to be wanted.”
Vera said that by highlighting the good in our lives, even when things don’t feel good, we will continue to notice more and more good in our lives every day and start paying attention to all the good that surrounds us.
Hannah also emphasized the importance of gratitude and said the practice of noticing three good things that happened every day and writing those three things in her journal consistently helped her get out of a particularly rough patch.
“It was really hard at first, but then it started getting easier and easier,” Hannah recalled. “And I noticed over time, it did help me notice good things throughout the day, even when I wasn’t sitting with my journal … And then as time passed even more it did reroute some things in my mind and it helped me see things from a different perspective.”
4. To build community, you have to show up and give of yourself
Building a strong community where you live is crucial for your mental health and well-being. Russell, a farmer and a board member of four different non-profits, stressed that if you want to find community, you need to first engage in some self-exploration. To make other people happy, you have to first be happy with yourself and kind to yourself. Be someone that you would want to be friends with. The next step is to get out there.
“Find something that you see as valuable and that you think you can help change and do that,” said Russell. Once you find out where your passion lies, find an organization whose mission aligns with yours and use your skills to help them. This will help you meet like-minded people and build community.
Despite discouraging events and circumstances, Darien, who works in the non-profit sector, continues to march forward in her effort to build community through community collaborations, like editing her community development zine, Zapta.
Ember, a full-time artist, centers their career around community building. When asked how lonely people can build community they responded, “I think you either have to move to where you can find that, or you have to be willing to put yourself out there and build it yourself.”
5. No job is perfect, but don’t be afraid to leave a job that doesn’t align with your values
I have stayed in jobs that were wrong for me for way too long for all the wrong reasons. Even though a job can suck all the joy from me and not even pay me a living wage, I continued slogging forward, because I thought that is just what the working world is like, everyone hates their job, right?
It turns out that is not true. Almost all of the people I interviewed had incredible job satisfaction, and while they recognized that no job is perfect, your job should still fulfill your basic needs of earning a living wage and bringing you fulfillment in some way or another.
“From moment to moment, things change, energies change, you tap into different situations, the world changes … So, you can always decide anew. There is no reason to hold onto anything, especially not to a job that doesn’t make you happy,” said Vera.
“I think there’s not going to be just one thing that is suited for you,” said Keighley, a parks bylaw enforcement officer. “If you were like, oh, I thought I was going to be this certain career for my [whole] life and that’s all I want to do and it ends up being a stressful work environment for you and it messes up your social or mental health, I think that’s not the end of the world. There are other things that you will enjoy.”
Even if you got a degree in a field you don’t want a job in, nothing is stopping you from going back to school. This was the story of Sara, who graduated with a degree in applied animal biology, but pretty soon after graduating, she realized she didn’t want a job in that field, so she went back to school to become a nurse.
This same story is shared by Catherine, who completed their BA in psychology, and realized they didn’t want a career in that field, so they got another major in creative writing and then went into education. After less than a year teaching in a classroom, they realized that wasn’t for them, so they got their graduate certificate in art therapy and is now in the process of starting their own art therapy practice.
“Throughout the entire six months that I was teaching, I was telling myself, you should be happy to be here,” Catherine shared. “This is a job that a lot of people want, you’re so lucky to have this job. But going home at 3:00 p.m. and playing Stardew Valley for two hours while drinking wine is not, like, something’s wrong. You’re not doing well if that’s happening.”
6. Everyone struggles with their mental health in one way or another, so don’t be ashamed to ask for help
Every single podcast guest I had struggled with some form of mental illness, with depression, anxiety, and ADHD being the most common ones. I have struggled with depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember, and my solution has always just been to grit my teeth and get through it.
After years of gaslighting myself, I started taking an anti-depressant, also known as a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI). During the first episode with Darien, I recounted the story that ultimately led to this decision. During this episode, I was still in my first month on the medication and feeling no effects. SSRIs can take 1-3 months to kick in fully and because everyone’s brains and bodies are different, you might need to try a few different SSRIs or dosages until you find one that finally works for you.
Teryn, a sports journalist, recalled his journey with mental health meds over the years and feeling frustrated over not finding the one that works for him.
“This is a drug that is out there for mental health, it works for everyone that takes it, so how come it’s not working for me?” Teryn expressed. “And learning that it is very individualistic, and that’s okay. It’s okay to be individualistic and know that some things don’t work for you. You’ll find that you’ll discover what does.”
Seeing a therapist is another way to get help with mental illnesses. Finding a therapist you connect with, and one you can afford can be a huge struggle for many, which is what has kept myself, and many other podcast guests from accessing this form of treatment.
Hannah listed several options outside of medication that are linked to improving your mental health, like sleeping better, eating properly, exercising, and journaling. She also noted that doing just one good thing for yourself on days you’re feeling low, like cooking a nice dinner, having a shower, or cleaning something, will be a big step towards recovery.
Keighley also shared her strategies for coping with anxiety and depression, such as canceling plans when you need to rest, cutting back on caffeine, using the Calm app to meditate and do breathing exercises, and if all else fails, taking a nap. Keighley also shared some alternative strategies for mental health treatment, like neurofeedback therapy, float tanks, yoga, and even ketamine treatment.
Camila, a program coordinator for a maternal healthcare program, has been developing strategies to live with her ADHD for years now, such as keeping to-do lists and a done list to help her stay organized. She also has a massive planner that she tracks all of her meetings and appointments and after every meeting, she’ll send a follow-up email to whoever she met with to summarize what they talked about so she doesn’t forget. She also requested a BIPOC counselor because she needed someone who could understand the same burden she felt as a BIPOC.
“[My counselor] empowered me to learn that I should care for nobody but myself,” Camila shared. “Which is so contrary to all of us in our caring jobs. You can only take care of yourself and what you can control and everything outside of that … you need to learn to let it go or it will hurt you.”
“If someone is drowning and you go to grab them and then they pull you and then you’re both drowning and you both die, do you think they’re going to thank you? No! They’re going to blame, they’re going to be like, ‘I drowned because of you, and you didn’t help me properly.’ So, not only are they going to drag you under, but they’re also going to be thankless anyways.”
Catherine, a registered Art Therapist, told me that even if you’re not diagnosed with a mental illness, like depression or anxiety or ADHD or OCD, but you still show the symptoms of those illnesses, you should still be treating the symptoms.
“If someone showed all the symptoms of depression, but they’re like, but I haven’t gotten a diagnosis. You wouldn’t be like, okay, bye. You’d be like, okay, so how can we make life easier for you right now?” said Catherine.
“I think it’s really important for people who are recovering to remember that recovery is full-time work. It’s lifelong work,” said Robert. “And success is different for different people.” Robert urged people who are struggling with depression or anxiety to start small on their journey to recovery, identify barriers that keep them from reaching their goals, and reach out to friends or family to help them climb over those barriers.”
7. Rest looks different for everyone, but resting is crucial in preventing burnout
Rest could look like lying in bed all day, it could look like going out to brunch with a friend, it could look like taking a yoga class, or it could look like hiking up a mountain. Rest is different for everyone, and is necessary for everyone to partake in. Rest is the only way to stop the cycle of burnout that keeps you trapped in a constant spiral of shame.
But rest is also very difficult for people who struggle with anxiety and ADHD, as their minds and bodies are constantly on alert and telling them to go, go, go. A few guests, like Hannah and Keighley, told me that getting on sleep meds was another big part of their mental health journey and helped get them back onto a stable foundation.
Catherine and I envied cats and their easy lives of sleeping and getting scritches all day. But Catherine was quick to point out that we are free to relax as cats do. The trick to doing so is reminding yourself that you have value and worth when you’re not working.
“I think it’s important to make one day every single week where you are a cat and you don’t have any plans,” said Catherine. “Put your to-do list on hold and you can just exist and go with the flow. That’s important. You can be a cat once in a while.”
8. Stop gaslighting yourself into thinking you’re okay
I have always been a real busybody. I’ve had daily to-do lists since I was a child. There were always things to do. I have a lengthy history of working multiple jobs to fill my calendar until it is bursting. In recent years, I have realized that I keep myself so busy to distract myself from feeling.
Last October, my nervous system collapsed. It was like my body just said, “Enough.” and I was unable to function like a normal human being anymore. My body was exhausted from never getting a moment’s rest and my mind was completely strung out from pushing back feelings of resentment, sadness, anger, and anxiety for so long. I took a leave of absence from my job and started taking anti-depressants. After a month of not working, I was still unable to comprehend returning to a job that sucked all the joy and energy from my body, so I quit.
Hannah recalled a story of a particularly rough year in university when multiple stressful incidents compounded all at once while she tried to push through a semester with a full courseload and no summer break.
“I kind of wanted to pretend that everything was going to be fine … just keep going with life … And so I got to the end of that semester, and we started the summer semester, and it was just like, a horrible feeling,” said Hannah. “Like, I just thought I would get a break, and I never did. And that’s when I dropped out.”
To get back up to a baseline and get her life on track again, Hannah went on mental health meds. “It wasn’t like it solved everything,” said Hannah, “It just made it easier to cope with life.”
Before I started an anti-depressant, I was self-medicating with a lot of cannabis, and telling myself that it’s normal to feel as bad as I do for as long as I do, until my coworkers, friends, and therapist all saw my steady mental decline and told me otherwise. I’ve been taking my meds for as long as I’ve been making this podcast now, and I’m happy to report that they’ve regulated my emotions and brought me to a headspace that now makes it so much easier to deal with day-to-day life.
9. You need an identity outside of work
Another way I struggle with work-life balance is wrapping my whole identity up in whatever job I find myself in. Whether it’s editing a school newspaper, running a climate change program, or working at a youth shelter, my mind never fully leaves work. This is partly because I tend to choose mission-based jobs that revolve around helping others and that give me a great sense of purpose. It’s also partly because the jobs I take usually require starting a program from the ground-up, which requires so much more strength and motivation than maintaining a program that already exists. While it’s great to find meaning and fulfillment from your vocation, it shouldn’t become your entire identity.
You need to make room for things you enjoy doing outside of work hours. You need to tell your brain to stop thinking about work once you leave the office or the workplace. You need to invest in something outside of the workplace that gives you just as much or an even greater sense of purpose so that you’re job can release its firm grasp on you.
Always be a little weary of investing too much of yourself in a job with a company or organization that is run by someone other than you. The reality is that no one’s job is completely secure, and your workplace can and will go on without you if you leave.
Hannah expressed that she felt almost a loss of identity when she had to take a break from her studies as a social work student for a semester to take care of her mental health. When your entire identity is wrapped up in your work or school, it makes it extremely difficult to move on from a toxic workplace or to take a break when you need it.
10. Capitalism has us all by the balls
“It’s hard to even mentally stabilize yourself in a capitalist economy so that you can take the next step to be free of it,” Darien said. The love/hate relationship for capitalism was a common theme throughout these first episodes. We all need money - we need to make it and we need to spend it - but we also all want to break free of the chains this system has us all locked into.
Chandy, a quality control manager for a biology instruments company, and I talked about alternatives to working for “the man,” and I told her about my plan to just work as little as possible and keep my expenses as low as possible, and she pointed out the privilege of being able to do that in this economy.
“The problem I find with that is that it’s not realistic for a lot of people who have two kids or even one kid. They want to afford stable housing for their kids. They don’t want to live in some kind of rental. So, it works up until a certain point and then it’s like, well, you have to transition into something,” said Chandy.
Vera saw the struggle with capitalism from a different perspective, however, claiming that “Capitalism has no power over me, even though it has, but it needs me just as much as I need it too, right?”
Money and earning potential have never been Vera’s main motivation when choosing what job she should take. She knows that money can come from many different jobs, so she chooses her job based on other perks that influence her happiness, like adventure and experiences in nature.
I talked to a lot of people who worked in non-profits, and they all felt that tight squeeze between the rock of wanting to help people and the hard place of wanting to earn enough money to get ahead.
“Capitalism is where the money is at,” said Camila, who has worked in various positions in a community service agency for the last eight years. “The older I get, the more my mind shifts starts to change from wanting to help people to just wanting to take care of myself and being in a stable job where I don’t have to worry about my financial future or how I’m going to afford a family.”
Robert, a program coordinator for a low-income housing unit on the Downtown Eastside, talked about the systemic issues that are causing so much mental illness to go untreated and undiagnosed.
“With inflation, more people are experiencing poverty, which can be attributed to poor health, you can’t access services,” said Robert. “Healthy food is less accessible. Activities that can improve your health like swimming at the local pool might be less accessible for people because money is tight, and housing is less accessible, or at least it’s more stressful for people.”
11. Treat your mental health as important as your physical health
The first time I went on medical EI was in the Spring of 2021 when I fell off a cliff while hiking and suffered from multiple serious injuries, including a skull fracture and broken wrist. I took 12 weeks off to rest, go to rehab, and allow my body to heal. While the recovery was a long and often painful process, it was satisfying to be able to move my fingers more and more every day and to see the gaping wound on my forehead held together by stitches slowly heal.
When I went on a leave of absence from work in the Fall of 2023 and went on medical EI, it was a completely different ball game. Even though I was off work, I still was on the go every day. Cleaning my apartment within an inch of its life, baking non-stop, writing thousands of words a day for a memoir I had put off writing, and applying to countless more jobs. Recovering from a mental illness requires the same kind of rest, rehabilitation, and healing as a physical injury or illness.
Looking back on last Fall, I wish I had taken it easier on myself. I wish I didn’t feel so guilty about staying home all day, not working. I wish I allowed my mind and body to deeply rest and recover, treating my mental breakdown as seriously as I treated my physical breakdown two years prior.
12. Trust your intuition
A point reiterated by a few different podcast guests, mainly Vera and Ember, was to trust your intuition when deciding what job to apply for and accept. The first step to trusting your intuition, says Vera, is to feel good about yourself and believe that you have the resources, drive, and energy to do anything you set your mind to. The next step is to quiet your mind and allow yourself to listen to the intuitive voice that we all have inside us. Meditation helps with tuning into your intuition.
“I try to listen to my feelings. How do I feel about a certain thing? I don’t know. I think I just always trust. I never trust others as much as I trust myself,” said Vera. “So, this voice is quite loud. I think some people quiet down their intuition by listening to their parents or expectations.”
Meditation and healing practises are what Ember recommended to get deeper in touch with your intuition. To remove blockages, you need to prioritize taking care of yourself and make a commitment to understand yourself better.
